I Pledge Allegiance...

So Sexual

One of the most interesting and subverted side notes of this presidential election process has been the interplay of race and gender. As a male who defines himself as a man, there is a certain gender bias and privilege that I must be actively aware of as I write this particular entry. A friend of mine, one of her friends and I were having a conversation on the yard under the Caribbean Tree as is par for the course between or after classes. One of the points the friend of the friend raised was the myth of the Howard Man and how he, for all intents and purposes, does not actually exist. Immediately taking offense, I rushed to defense of all Howard men but honestly more so myself. In this conversation, which in the end came out as a wash via my crafty political maneuvering around the topic via statistical loopholes and social theories and general relativism, I began to really ask myself, “Am I man? And if so, what makes me that?”

Most people often begin and end this discussion, or at least in the dozens of derivations I’ve heard, by claiming that a man is made a man by his ability to take care of his responsibilities and duties. And that’s great. But does that imply that women are not thusly obligated to do the same and that they are free to flitter about and do whatever they please “becuz the man is handling things. **crotch grab and scratch**” I believe that the ability to take care of one’s responsibilities and to be dutiful in such is a right of personhood and is not and legitimately cannot be assigned by gender. Having stated that, the next logical question, and in my opinion the most relevant to how we obtain these gender biases in the first place, is which responsibility falls to which gender? If we are looking to physiology for an answer, then the only differences are chromosomes, hormone proportion, predisposition to higher muscle density, and reproductive organs.

If men and women looked the same as they do now but reproductive processes were reversed. Would you still be able to call yourself a man? Would your manhood still exist? The answer is no because manhood and womanhood are predicated on maleness and femaleness respectively. The burden of our differences are vastly outweighed by our similarities; but the schism comes from the emphasis that we put on those differences. Here is where I believe that in a lot of situations, race comes into play. Race is a faux-unifying camouflage of gender issues. A man is simply a male person as a woman is simply a female person. Our personhood is hinges on our ability to claim it and to maximize the gifts that we have individually been given through responsibility, maturity and vision.

Women often decry the sexism that is pervasive throughout American culture without looking at their own role in it. Women advantage themselves off of double standards and then complain about how stifling they are. It is hard to complain about a system which has in many ways advantaged you. Like Black folks who complain about racism yet live off the culture of racism. I am not stating that racism and sexism don't exist but they are obstacles to be moved past not platforms to be propped up.

Victimhood should, at best, be a temporary state not a lifestyle. While, I, as a man, am privileged to be able to say this because of my manhood, my maleness, that doesn't diminish the veracity. Often when we establish a "pro-something" agenda, we automatically feel as though we have to be "anti-somethingelse" which isn't true most times. We have to be careful to not grow complacent with the social roles that have been handed to us via gender, race, sexual preference, disability, or any other thing we can't control.

Political Culture

As a “Black” man, “Colored” man, “Negro” man, “Nigger” man, “African-American” man, ”Afro-American” man, etc., my main form of political reference is the Civil Rights movement/Black Power Struggle, upon which I will now draw. If we were to merely look at the hierarchy of “Black” institutions and organizations put forth at that they time, they were pretty much across the board devoid of women across the board; yet, the platforms they put forth sought rights for all “Black” people, male and female. “Black” women have all too often been made to choose between their sex and the race. This election most notably presented three, really four different actual or potential firsts- currently oldest president, first “Black” president, and first female vice president and formerly first female president (it’s still in play if McCain dies or leaves office).

Many of my “Black” female friends were torn between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and given their closeness on policy, mainly along the lines of race and gender loyalties and which one trumped the other, if at all, in making this decision. Interestingly, it seemed to be about split, with the slight edge to Obama among my friends. And if we take this small sample size as a microcosm of the dilemma that millions more Black women were faced with at the polls because they are the ones that truly keep the Black vote viable. According to the NY Times, “Black” women make up approximately two-thirds of the Black electorate and are expected to come out strong this year in the South especially. With the dimpled chad of Sarah Palin still dancing in women’s heads as the only one of them left alive, it seems as though “Black” women have firmly pushed through onto the Obama ticket; but, is it without some remorse for the inefficiency of Hillary or the idiocy of Sarah, I don’t think so.

If you are wondering why I have chosen to put all the denotations of race in quotation marks, it is simply because of the pervasive question which clouds my judgment and I think that of most of the world. That is the question of allegiance. Are you a man or woman who happens to be Black or are you a Black who happens to be a man or a woman? When forced to choose between that which benefits the artificial constructs of pigmented unity and the socio-political ramifications of that which has been genetically predetermined, where will we turn? Each of these debates has asked the candidates to do, what we the voters have long sense been asked to do since the outset of the presidential race- prioritize.

In Nas’ song Black President, he articulates just that in saying, “But on a positive side, I think Obama provides Hope - and challenges minds. Of all races and colors to erase the hate. And try and love one another.” Due to the military and economic catastrophes we are now living through, the bigoted electorate is forced to look outside of traditional racial values and really evaluate which president is best suited to get them out of the shithole that we are all currently mired in. An election that for many, not too long ago, would have been all too easy to decide has become muddled by exigent circumstances. Prejudice is a luxury afforded by domestic and international socio-economic security, which is what made slavery so powerful. Symbolically, Obama’s candidacy is monumental- a man who by the very Constitution he could be sworn in under would not have been able to achieve that post de jure (by law) a few hundred years because he was simply not a man and probably a decade ago de facto (by virtue of fact).

The War in Iraq, which many pundits thought at the beginning would be the undoing of Obama and the rise of McCain, has ceased to be a main issue and has become a side note of additional spending in the eroding American economy. This fact seems to be setting the stage for an Obama victory. Obama’s popularity with the young and urban has branched itself out into across the board national support because of his economic intelligence and strategy, which the media also constantly emphasizes and certifies, tacitly lending its support for Obama. If there’s one thing that the national electorate should learn particularly from this election, is that we set the political table for our representative hopefuls and that if we don’t clearly put forward the issues that matter most to us, they will most assuredly play only to their base and the special interests with the deepest coffers.

Ohh, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention all of this Obama paraphernalia. I know you support the guy; but, we are dangerously close to trivializing the man by making him more of a fashion and racial statement than a political and social statement. If you’re going to go out and be an Obama supporter and wear all the damn Obama gear, please…PLEASE…be familiar with the man’s policy agenda. It takes me back to high school when everyone was wearing the Che Guevara shirts and had no clue who the man was. Don’t support Obama just because he is Black; don’t shut off to McCain because he is White. Vote for the best candidate! That’s it.

Final Thoughts

But, I have digressed. The key to this entire discussion is priority or allegiance. Generically, we all have the same basic needs, wants, and social agendas but it’s the priority and emphasis given to them which divides parties, groups, countries, genders, races, nationalities, ethnicities, religions and people. If we fall too far to the right or to the left politically, we ignore utilitarian policy. If we overinvest ourselves in our manhood or womanhood, we miss our personhood by trying to create internal reflection of external values which we may or may not ever achieve. An interesting aside here, is sexual preference, if a man is sexually and romantically interested in another man, he has socially divorced his manhood in the eyes of society, because “somebody’s got to be the woman.” If a woman behaves in a manner that is more than what society deems is acceptably masculine, she is automatically a lesbian without any regard to her actual preference. And if she is found to be a lesbian, “she just wanna have a dick man.”

Humans create their own social death by daring to be unashamedly who they feel they are naturally. We preach respect while we constantly disrespect others. We work our way up the established social ladder on the backs of those “who were too slow to get to the top” and “are just jealous of us” yet when we are outpaced by another up-and-comer we immediately claim victimhood, contempt and disgust as we are bumped down another rung by the same process that put us in the position we are in. That to me sounds like a social structure predicated on self-hatred and denial. The trailblazers are simply that- those who blazed their own trail instead of seeking the beaten path that will only lead you were you have been conditioned to think you ought to be. Society is changed only by those who stand up in full affirmation of the self and really impact the system in their own self-evincing way. Change cannot come from the sidelines- and that’s a status quo you can BELIEVE in!!!!

The Power of Language

Politics

As I sat on the bus, on my way home from another excursion into the land of Black Academia, I started reading this article in the Post that posed the question, “Is Obama too liberal?” In the article, the author discussed how both the Clinton camp and the Republican Party assailed Obama’s left-leaning politics and cast aspersions on his ability to lead and to distance himself from the “racist” values of his pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright. But what is it that makes Obama too liberal? Will they tell you? No. On the subject of faith, how many people know where Hillary Clinton or John McCain worship? Nowhere as many as the number of people who now know the name, face, and probably address of Rev. Wright. By slapping the tag of “down-the-line liberal” on Obama, they hope to destroy his appeal to moderates. The Clinton campaign is truly confused as to how to really stop Obama and slow his momentum, which is apparent in their castigation of him as a liberal but also stating that Obama is too “fond” of Ronald Reagan’s ideology, the guiding principle of the neo-conservatives. It doesn’t make sense. The term “liberal” has brought the campaigns of Walter Mondale, John Kerry, and Michael Dukakis to a halt, when the issue of electability and nationwide appeal were raised. I think it’s up to the nation to determine whether they want politics of a more liberal and progressive bent, not the pundits and spin doctors behind these campaigns.

William Safire, in an interview of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, discussed how politicians utilize language to create associations or separations where there ordinarily wouldn’t be. The genius of the Bush Administration is the way in which they used language to create and perpetuate a state of panic and fear in America and punk us all into giving them much more power than they constitutionally should have had by painting everyone who opposed the war and by extension President Bush as being unpatriotic. What I find paradoxical is how we can extol virtues of liberty and democracy and improving conditions of our fellow man internationally but so openly fail to do so domestically. We speak so glowingly of liberating Iraq; but when it comes to liberating minorities and the rest of the dregs of society we openly lampoon and privately cripple efforts by anyone to do so. We are quick to castigate and denounce countries and powers who point out our blatant hypocrisy. France is a good example of that. I still am in shock that America tried to take the French off of everything and replace it with Freedom. Freedom Fries my ass. The French gave us the Statue of Liberty, ingrates.

Niggas/Bitches/Hos

How in the hell did we become this? Not too many generations ago calling any Black person any of these words was cause for an ass-whoopin’, plain and simple. How did we come to engage ourselves in this intraracial dialogue and accept these external limitations? When I think of the word “nigga/nigger/nucca/nicca/niggah/(however else you choose to spell it),” I immediately think of the shiftless, jobless, unproductive, uninterested, uneducated, irresponsible, negligent Black men out there who consistently don’t take care of their kids, don’t take care of their communities, don’t take care of their families, and don’t take care of themselves. And I’ll be damned if I allow someone to call me that and have me accept it. When your homeboi, is like “You my nigga,” my first thought is to some sort of reverse master philosophy. When I think of a nigga, I think of someone who is in bondage mentally, financially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But maybe I’m too old school, too orthodox in my thinking. I try to view the word “nigga” through the modern paradigm of being“a friend, a homie, compadre, road dog, etc.;” but, I just cannot shake loose the hurt associated with the word. I think of my ancestors who believed that they to be more than that literally having the black beaten off of them by whips and lashes, ripping their skin off of their bodies for merely attempting to have the type of freedom that is supposed to be associated with humanity. I just can’t get with it.

When did it become okay to be a bitch, ladies? When did it become okay to become a ho? When did we decide to disassociate ourselves from our dignity and allow ourselves to be denigrated by us. I see more Black men calling Black women “bitches” and “hos” than any other ethnic group. It disgusts me. I’m not here to argue or in any way to assert that “niggas,” “bitches,” and “hos” don’t exist because they do. They are real. They are interwoven into our everyday lives. What I am saying is that we don’t have to allow ourselves to be that. The first step to changing our perception of ourselves is by changing how we address ourselves and how others address us. It’s not what you are called, it’s what you answer to. Fellas, if you think the way you get at some of these females is cute, then you need to open your eyes forreal.

I guess it’s become cliché by now, but you have to realize that every woman is someone’s sister, someone’s aunt, someone’s cousin, someone’s mother or future mother, someone’s wife or future wife. If those women mean anything to you and you wouldn’t want to see them called “bitches” and “hos”, how can you dare to be so hypocritical as to call them out of their names and to address them in such a manner. Ladies, if you stop responding to it, a dude who is really and truly interested in you will eventually get the hint and address you the right way and in a more respectful way. We only do it because it works. I guess the same could be said of that “nigga” mentality. I assume it makes you sound more rugged, more tough, more “street,” more “hood,” more “thug,” if we speak in such an uneducated, inarticulate manner. And a lot of you ladies like and respond to that shit. Again, you do what works. A lot of dudes use the word “nigga” to get over as being tough. There’s no reason to do that. A punk is a punk. You can use the roughest, toughest, ‘thoroughest” language that there is, but at the end of the day, if you’re soft, then you’re soft. We have the potential to be far more than the nomenclatures of “niggas, bitches, and hos” will carry us; and until we shake that off, we will still be niggers at the beck and call of the social master, beating at our backs to keep us on the bottom rung of social stratification.

Homosexuality

“Queer”, ”Faggot”, “Homo”, “Dyke”, “Cunt”, “Sissy”, “Fairy”- some of the words we casually use to disparage homosexual people. Sexual preference is but a small part of who we are as people. Too often, society tries to make sexuality the determining factor in how we treat others. Openly homophobic sentiments are still part of the popular lexicon and culture. We like to compare racism and homophobia. While racial discrimination is for something that is plainly visible, open homophobia is much more accepted and pervasive. From the way in which we scold our children, “To stop being such a tomboy” or “to stop being such a sissy,” it is readily apart of conversation in which we teach our children that homosexuality or anything not standard is unacceptable.

It took me a long time to realize how offensive the term “faggot” or “faggie” is to homosexual men. Casual expressions like “that’s so gay” or “that’s some faggie shit” are definitely symptomatic of an unempathetic culture. The struggle for gay rights and gay visibility is inexorably linked to the over-arching goal of civil rights, which was freedom from the oppression of anyone for everyone. In a discussion with a friend of mine who happens to be homosexual about gay rights I told him, “I support it but I’m not the kind of guy who’s going to be out there on the front lines campaigning; but I wouldn’t be averse to signing a petition or waving a sign. I don’t feel passionately enough about it to be as enthusiastic in my defense of it as others would. I just don’t feel as connected to it, as say fighting racism but I understand the connection.”

What I found most interesting is the dilemma of race and sexuality. In reading J.L. King’s book, “Coming Up From the Down Low,” I really began to understand and connect with the variety of reasons men of color do not open up about their sexuality, primarily because we don’t present a space for them to be open. King articulates in his book that often Black men must choose between pursuing their interests and the very culture that has sustained them. If I knew that revealing one aspect about myself, namely who I kept in my bed, I would keep that a secret too. That’s a hell of a dilemma. Black women, especially, take issue with men who are on the DL and aren’t out, but as King presents, it comes to more so an inability to be honest as opposed to a lack of desire. Sexuality has been the basis for castigation and erasure of all other aspects of a person’s character. There’s got to be more. Black men on the DL must often decide which identification is most important to them, race or sexuality. And generally out of racial obligation, many men decide to hide, especially in hopes of creating and strengthening the Black family.

Psychological Disorders

Minority communities continue to see psychological disorders (i.e. anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bi-polarity) as a White person’s disease that has nothing to do with us. Recently actress Jennifer Lewis (You may not know her name but you know her face) revealed that she was bi-polar and that she was receiving treatment. Bobby Brown also discussed being bi-polar. His admission was met with a lot of scoffs and disdain and accusations of dishonest. Black folks saying, “That boy just high and crazy- bi-polar my ass,” is merely a result of our lack of understanding of the issue. I feel a lot of that stems from the need of people of color to close ranks and to see ourselves as strong and self-sufficient and that any form of non-physical infirmity was merely personal weakness.

Many often sacrificed their personal well-being in their commitment to the larger goal of keeping the family strong, i.e. Mama taking her private pains to the bathroom as she cried all alone. The Black community in their devout religious belief has often moved away from established medicine. It was common for Blacks to say, “Doctor, I don’t need no doctor. I’m gonna pray and go get me some herbs.” That dogged commitment to the traditional didn’t allow many Blacks to really understand that science and medicine are gifts from God. Why would he put it here for us not to use? American ideology has always viewed the mental health profession with open skepticism, calling them “quacks” and “head shrinkers.” The kind of understanding that can come with a knowledge of the human psyche and how it relates to human physiology is key to repairing the human spirit which is crucial in promoting overall wellness. It is our skepticism that keeps us from healing.

Masculinity vs. Femininity

Society has always placed a premium on masculinity and maleness, part of the reason why male homosexuality is so openly vilified and female homosexuality is a bit more tolerated. In the back of pretty much every heterosexual male’s mind is the fantasy of seeing multiple women committing lesbian acts in front of them. Not every heterosexual man is overtly masculine, and for him, life must be very confusing, often being pushed in directions that he wouldn’t normally. In terms of language, we often portray our preference in the way in which we address people and objects. First off, the majority of job titles confer the masculine or feminine upon a position, i.e. stewardess, chairman, postman, seamstress. Often, when naming inanimate objects, e.g. cars, we choose feminine nicknames for them. Men are known to remark in reference to a car, “Ain’t she a beaut!” Even R. Kelly’s song, “You Remind Me,” features several references that equate a woman to something non-human.

Black society is giving into the growing trend of the more effeminate male and the more masculine female, which often complicates accepted household roles. The ideal of the late 80’s/90’s/early 2000’s was that of the thug male, who wore his masculinity on the outside and wore thug apparel, i.e. tims, wife beater, baggy jeans, chain; but as of late, Black males have traded in the loose and baggy for the tight and fitted and begun openly engaging in practices that not too long ago that would have labeled him as a “faggot” or a “sissy” or a “homo,” i.e. facials, having a stylist, wearing pastel colors, fitted shirts, manicures, pedicures, and using beauty cosmetics. Conversely, females have been stepping increasingly out of the home and into the workforce in greater numbers and holding higher level positions in male dominated fields, i.e. real estate, energy, and banking.

More and more men are becoming stay at home fathers as well. All of which often challenges commonly accepted gender roles. I know as a man I would have a problem, at least initially, with my wife making considerably more money than me. This issue is becoming more and more frequently faced by couples in which the man feels the need to assert himself as a man and take care of his family. The accepted standard was that the man brought home the bacon and the woman fried it up in a pan. What do you do when she comes home with steak and hands you a skillet? I think that all of these complications can be overcome if a basis for compromise is there. Men were once able to dominate women via finances; but now many women are able to turn the tables, increasing their freedom and simultaneously forcing us males to redefine our masculinity and our maleness. We can see by the overwhelming majority of males to females in college that they have put themselves in a position to increase their earning power despite the sexism and discrimination ion pay.

Issues of Race

Inter-racially there is great distrust. We don’t understand each other’s culture, attitudes and practices. Be they a “towel-head,” “chink”, “nigger,” “cracker”, “injun”, “kike”, “kaffir”, “jungle bunny”, “cholo”, “wetback”, “coonass”, “curry-muncher”, “gook”, “wop”, etc., we allow others to define what or who is acceptable in society. Something I’ve always made a note of is that I’ve never met a White person who is offended by the term, “cracker.” And that indifference is the luxury of dominance, the luxury of socially defined superiority. Reports estimate that in 2050 whites will be the largest minority group given the expansion of the Hispanic population and immigration. On the surface that sounds like something for minorities to root for; however, if the White community as the minority still dominates music and big business and basically the American economy, would the demographic difference really matter?

Beyond that, without minority solidarity to protect a collective agenda of increased representation, the aforementioned divisions will only continue to factionalize race and create an internal civil war for domination allowing Whites to continue to purport their domination. The privileges that come with Whiteness, while not always intended, are nonetheless prevalent and cannot be ignored. For White children growing up, no matter what you want to do, there are a variety of White faces that you can place with that goal, for minorities it is not always that readily available. The Native American population, which has almost been completely written off, probably has the worst of this particular situation. The agenda is solidarity, which comes through sacrifice.

In Randall Kennedy’s book, Sellout: The Politics of Racial Betrayal, he discusses the idea of “outing.” He speaks about how in terms of both sexuality and race “outing” people forces an often reluctant association, either as a form of punishment for the person for betraying the confidences of the membership or as a form of uplift for that community giving them an example of what they can achieve, a symbol of aspiration. People of mixed heritage by whatever name they are called are often caught between worlds and associations and are often “outed” when they achieve some sort of notoriety. I automatically think about Barack Obama, Colin Powell, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Tiger Woods. People went out of their way to dig through and often question their ethnic backgrounds to find out “what kind” of Black they were.

Final Thoughts

We often overlook the power of language and self-definition but it is pivotal to our understanding of self and our relationship to the global community. Beyond that, terms are up for re-evaluation and re-association. The growing assertiveness of the female is putting that forth for the male. A situation in which, he can either accept being the helpmate or work to create greater equity in the home from the beginning, because fellas, the ladies are getting theirs. Also in terms of race and sexuality, we have to begin to see race and sexuality as merely a portion of someone’s thought process and life experience and not the totality of what they are or who they could be. Religion is often a breeding ground for division, whereas spirituality is a common balm of healing. I think it would be beneficial for all of us to go back to the roots of why we believe what we believe and determine whether or not it’s worth continuing to believe. What I also find interesting is the discussion of diversity. Diversity is such a loose and vague term in my opinion. You can have diversity in any grouping. Often in education, we talk about creating diversity, but I ask, what kind of diversity? Ethnic diversity, economic diversity, linguistic diversity, religious faith diversity? Howard often touts its diversity and it is diverse; but diverse amongst young Black people. I never realized that kind of diversity could exist. If we can have it, then there’s diversity amongst Whites, Jews, Hispanics, Asians. Humans were born to differ; but difference shouldn’t end the conversation or the quest to create understanding.